Hi my love! I know I don't get on here often, but I know you hear me talking to you. Last week I got to remember you with all the other little kids that passed away at PCH. It's always nice to attend and I get to see your Nana and sometimes your Tia. Son, I love you and I miss you more than ever with your little brother coming soon. I wish God would have given you a longer life here on earth. I wish you got to see your brother and your sister. But, I do know you are and always will be right by there side. I'm very blessed to have been given a second chance at motherhood but I can't help but feel sad that your not here to experience it all with me. I wish u were never sick. I wish u were here. I'm trying to be as happy as I can Brandon to be having ypur brother but I can't seem to be as happy as I know I should be. As happy as I know every woman who is given this gift should be. I know when he is here I will be, I just wish I was at that point already because I feel like I'm being a bad mom already. I don't mean to be though. I just want God to give me the strength I need to do this alone. I'm scared too Brandon, I'm scared ur brother will look so much like you that it will be hard for me. I don't want the pain to come back. Although I will always feel pain, I'm just scared that it will all be fresh again. Be there with me through it all son and help me be strong. I love you always and forever♥